Texas Bluebonnet Writing Project Blog

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Cracking Open Sentences (based on the work of Georgia Heard)

Post your "cracked" sentences here as comments.

posted by Jeannine Hirtle @ 7/12/2007 11:37:00 AM  

20 Comments:

  • At 7/12/2007 11:39 AM, Blogger Jeannine Hirtle said…

    What did it sound like?
    What color was it?
    How could you tell it rained a lot?
    What did the rain feel like?
    What did the rain smell like?

     

  • At 7/12/2007 11:40 AM, Blogger Jeannine Hirtle said…

    Simple sentence: It rained a lot.

    Cracked Open Sentence: Wind, liberally sprinkled with drops of rain, whipped across my sodden pants legs, chilling me to the bone, as I slogged across the water-soaked long. Deep footprints were etched in the lawn as I doggedly bent forward into the wind wrapping my lined rain coat around my shivering body.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 11:51 AM, Blogger Janelle said…

    Empty Sentence:
    He is truly poet at heart.

    Cracked Open:
    He is truly poet at heart. For him, it was not just night. It was a jasmine scented evening. For him, it was not breezy, but the wind whispered through the trees. For him, it was not warm but the feeling of the fan gently blowing on his perspiring body.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 11:52 AM, Blogger Jolyn said…

    His vocabulary was limited. (Sentence to crack)

    His stilted vocabulary shrank to infinitesimal proportions. (I believed him to have almost no words with which to express himself.) Especially when I asked him a question during class. (Cracked sentence)

     

  • At 7/12/2007 11:53 AM, Blogger Rediesha Thompson said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 11:56 AM, Blogger pat huster said…

    I showed her my latest James Patterson book.

    I snagged my latest James Patterson mystery which was left gaping open to page 30 and exposed the drooping, milky white body of the poor mutilated bride still robed in her no-longer white gown.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 11:57 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    * I gave her a huge smile.*

    I felt my eyes begin to twinkle. Her enthusiasm was contagious. My mouth stretched open as a smile began to stretch from ear to ear.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:01 PM, Blogger Jeannine Hirtle said…

    Simple sentence: Now when I hear jazz, I immediately go to that same place and a similar synergy is there.

    Now when I hear the delicious free-spirited sounds that mark music as jazz, I am transformed back through time and space to those synergestic moments of shared work.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:01 PM, Blogger Sessamalie said…

    Uncracked:
    Lance looked small.

    Cracked:
    Despite his grand size, he looked small, cowering under his mother’s disapproving gaze. His usual enthusiasm gone, he appeared defeated. His mother lorded over him, letting out sigh after exasperated sigh as he deconstructed the malaise in his locker.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:02 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Uncracked/Cracked Sentence: Dianna

    I came to dislike her intensely and soon called her mother about her behavior because I wanted to write her up.

    Because of Miranda, I dreaded teaching second period. Every class became a struggle to keep Miranda in her seat, to keep her from turning around in her seat to talk to the boy behind her, to avoid her caustic disrespect, to prevent her from insulting others. I knew from her mother that Miranda was self-destructive, and I ought to have felt kindly and sympathetic towards her, guiding her towards a path of healing, but I didn’t. Her constant negativity grated on my nerves. I began to wish she would self-implode. But she never did, despite my earnest wishing for it, so against the will of her parents and psychologist, I decided I was ready to write a referral on her.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:02 PM, Blogger Rays of Light said…

    I’ll never forget Ramon.

    I’ll never forget that sunny August afternoon when this tall, rough-looking boy, in his worse stage of puberty, thunder voice and motor mouth, which I never saw shut, raced into my classroom like a horse without a harness.No, I'll never forget Ramon.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:03 PM, Blogger Christine said…

    But beyond his eccentricities was a child who couldn’t read or write. Whenever given a reading or writing task, Matthew would pull out an avoidance technique from his chocked-full toolbox entitled: How to Fool a First-Year Teacher Into
    Thinking You Can Read. First of all there was the amateur, “I really need to go to the restroom, Miss,” strategy topped off with the clincher—“and it’s an emergency.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:03 PM, Blogger Writing Unplugged said…

    Empty Sentence:
    –“Why me, why me? “ She would ask.

    Cracked Open:
    –“Why me, why me? “ She would ask me with a deep sadness in her trembling voice; the kind of sadness that only comes from a broken soul. I would look at her and think to myself, –there must be something I can do to comfort her- With a glisten in my eyes from tears that were trying to creep in, gently I put my hand on her shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze as if trying to tell her that I understood her pain, that I was there for her, that she could count on me.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:04 PM, Blogger Kinderbeanie :) said…

    Empty Sentence: Marchetta ran across the room.

    Marchetta released the plastic food she held in her tiny hands with the ease and gentleness of an excited elephant in a sealed closet desperate to be freed. She zipped past me with the speed of a lizard escaping the talons of a hungry hawk. She would have left a dusty trail, had there been earth beneath her feet. She landed with a half-skip, half jump, into the arms of this thin young man. She smiled showing all of her sparkling white teeth as she smothered him with laughing kisses.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:05 PM, Blogger Rediesha Thompson said…

    UNCRACKED:
    With butterflies and knots in my stomach, I introduced myself and gave my class expectations.

    CRACKED:
    While 24 pairs of skeptical eyes peered into what seemed like my soul, and angry butterflies threw themselves against the walls of my stomach, I breathed deeply into my nostrils, separated my lips, and said, "Good Morning. My name is Ms. Thompson."

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:07 PM, Blogger teachtoinspire said…

    Empty sentence: Gaby was my top academic student.

    New sentence:
    Gaby was cheerful, light-spirited, dedicated and willing to share her knowledge and lend a helping hand to her peers that struggled. Naturally, she would reach out to those in need this past school year.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:53 PM, Blogger pat huster said…

    Last week my husband and I went to see Live Free or Die Hard and, as usual, I ran into a parent. That’s what happens when you live and teach in the same town.

    The lady sitting next to me gazed into my face and said, “You’re a teacher at CMS, right?”

    Thoughts zigzagged across my brain. Do I have a giant scarlet T stamped on my forehead, or is it that bleary-eyed teacher look I can’t get rid of? I just wanted to spend a nice, quiet evening with my hubby. Okay, Die Hard won’t exactly be quiet. Skip and I just wanted alone time with dinner and a little beverage. I had a full glass of wine in my hands transporting it slowly to my lips. Drat, why am I drinking wine now? Why am I at a movie theater? Why did I leave the house?

    “Yes, I’m Pat Huster and you are?”

    “I’m Ashley Sexton’s mom. I just wanted you to know that you changed her life.”

    I see a new moment to explode right here.

    She told me that I had changed her daughter’s life. Before walking into my classroom, Ashley hated to read. I, her mom said, showed her how great books can be and all that can be gained from them. She spends all of her birthday money on new books. I have to admit that I cried a bit sitting there in the movie theater, good thing it was dark.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:54 PM, Blogger Rays of Light said…

    Exploding the moment:
    He was always on the defense and anyone that got in his way was not going to have a nice time.

    Exploded:
    His impenetrable knight’s amour was worn to school everyday. It wasn’t easy for Ramon to sit with a teacher and talk things out because he was as tight as a clam when it came to discussing any behavior, academic or personal problem. And God saved you if you tried to stop him from engaging in his mischievous rampages of playing pranks on other students.

     

  • At 7/12/2007 12:59 PM, Blogger RBoyd said…

    Simple sentence: On the first day of school in walked Celeste hand in hand with mother and head down.

    Cracked open:There I was standing with the biggest smile while I nervously waited for more of my new students, all I could hear was the excitement in every child’s voice as they walked down the hall and met their new teachers. The first day is always exciting! I had just seated a little girl who was overjoyed to become a Boyd’s Bee, as I turned to take my place at the door I bumped into a little girl whom appeared to have a ten pound weight lingering around her neck. Her hand was stuck to her mother’s as if someone had plastered super duper glue onto them. Not even a crow bar held by Arnold Schzwnaeger could pry them apart.

     

  • At 7/15/2007 8:51 PM, Blogger Sherry said…

    My portable classroom sits behind Grand Prairie High School, baking in the hot August sun.

    The beige, metal building I teach in sits on a burning-hot asphalt parking lot behind Grand Prairie High School. The corrugated roof rattles in the slightest breeze, the pounding of a good rain can drown out all conversation, and (since all four garbage dumpsters are just behind us) all discussion pauses when the gigantic garbage trucks make their daily run. I never cease to be amazed at how fascinated high school boys become watching the process of emptying a dumpster. I know they're just waiting for the driver to miss getting the giant mechanical arms into the slots on either side of the dumpster. Personally, I worry that the drivers (who come up our driveway pretty fast) will puncture our little tin building with those giant metal arms. I also have recurring nightmares about them setting one of those behemoths down on top of a wandering student. SPLAT. Not a pretty picture.

     

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